August 16, 2007

"The top five and a half ways to decrease traffic to your blog."

Are you tired of reading the same old boring article about how to get more traffic to your blog? All of the articles about getting more visitors for your blog provide the same information over and over again. They aren't offering anything new.

Well, I am tired of reading the same old articles, and you should be too. So I decided to create a list of my own, the top five and a half ways to decrease traffic to your blog.

By using these methods you are certain to not only lose traffic to your blog, but also destroy any chance at all of your blog going anywhere in a market.

1. Use boring, random titles and tags for your posts.

If you don't want a lot of traffic coming to your blog, a great start is by using boring and random titles and tags for each of your posts.

By making your titles bland and boring, visitors won't be intrigued and will most likely not read any of your articles. Titles such as "A list about blog stuff," or "I like summer," are sure to not interest many visitors. You are practically guaranteed to lose traffic with boring titles alone.

Add in random tags for your posts and your visitors will be so confused they may never come back. Adding a tag about giraffes to a post about search engine optimization, for example, is a great way to make your readers think you have no idea what you're talking about.

2. Don't participate in forums or other blogs related to your blog topic.

By completely isolating yourself and your opinions to your blog, you will dramatically decrease the amount of attention drawn towards your blog. This is one of the best methods you can use to avoid traffic coming into your blog.

It's easy and fun! Don't go to websites like Technorati and look up related blogs to network with. The less you participate in other forums and on other blogs, the less traffic you will get.

3. Focus on making money with your blog, and place ads to fill up space.

You've got a blog, why not make money from it? Use Google AdSense to place banner ads from Google everywhere on your blog. Cover the top, the bottom, both the left and right sides of the page, and in between each post.

By focusing on ads and revenue, your visitors will assume that you don't really care about the topic you're writing about, and they will leave your blog to find other blogs that actually provide easy-to-find information.

4. Write about things everyone else in your niche has already covered.

This one is a given: if you want less traffic to your blog, simply write about what everybody else has already written about. Visitors that do find your blog will likely have already read everything you have written about, so they will leave. And if every post on your blog is about already-covered topics, visitors won't be coming back anytime in the near future.

5. Use poor language skills.

Another easy way to decrease the amount of traffic your blog receives is to use poor language skills. Instead of using proper grammar, make your blog posts one giant sentence with absolutely no punctuation at all.

Even if readers stick around to read your inept posts, they will surely be confused by your message and are less likely to try to read future posts.

5 1/2. Just don't blog.

Along the same lines as writing poorly - and the ultimate way to decrease traffic to your blog - just don't write anything. At all. Write one or two articles when you first start your blog, and then don't write anymore.

By using boring titles and tags on your posts, not socializing with other bloggers and networks, focusing on making money rather than a niche, using poor language skills, and just not updating your blog at all, you are guaranteed to lose traffic to your blog.

So there you have it. The top five and a half ways to decrease traffic to your blog. Take it for what it's worth.